First of all, Merry Christmas! Second, can someone tell me who the fuck eats fruitcake?
I distinctly remember being seven years old on Christmas Eve at my Grandma’s house. I stood there motionless as all the aunts were scrambling around in the kitchen getting the food ready. I watched in horror as the 5 pound loaf was dropped on a decorative plate right in front of me. The heavy thud easily revealed what it was. I did my best to conceal my disdain for this mutant cake. When asked to carry it over to the goody table, I walked with it on a tray as far away from my body as possible. Like a plague sitting on a platter, I prayed no one would suggest I “try just a little piece”. (I’d been fooled before.) After setting it down I grabbed a shortbread cookie and got the hell outta there.
Now I’ve taken into consideration that kid’s taste-buds are generally different from those that grace the tongues of mature adults, which is why a few years ago I spotted another fruitcake at a Christmas Eve party and decided to go for it! I figured my tongue might be up for it all these years later. One bite went in, and let’s just say that it was a very lucky thing I had a handy napkin in my other hand because in less than 2 seconds I spit that shit out. Now, I’m not trying to offend anyone who likes fruitcake. You bunch of weirdos can do as you please with what goes into your mouth, but I’m not into it.
Let me offer an alternative. How about a display of beautifully fresh baked gingerbread muffins that those seeking out some hearty goodness can sink their teeth into while strolling around your fabulous party?
Wouldn’t you feel a lot better serving these at the goody table?
I thought so!
I bought the little snowman toppers and some festive muffin liners. Sure, the snowmen are full or artificial poison garbage, but it’s Christmas and most people don’t give a shit about poison snowmen at this time of year.
Below is the recipe for these Gingerbread muffins!
I found this recipe at ihearteating.com. I copied this straight from her site for you:
- 2½ c . all-purpose flour
- 1 tsp . ground ginger
- 1 tsp . ground cinnamon
- 1 tsp . baking powder
- 1/4 tsp . baking soda
- 1/2 tsp . salt
- 1/4 c . coconut oil melted
- 1/2 c . brown sugar packed
- 1/2 c . molasses
- 1 large egg
- 1 c . milk low-fat ok
- 1/3 c . fat-free Greek yogurt
- 2 T. sparkling sugar optional
Preheat oven to 350 F. Line a 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners or grease with nonstick cooking spray.
In a medium mixing bowl, combine flour, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
In a separate large bowl, whisk together coconut oil and brown sugar.
Whisk in molasses.
Add egg, and whisk to combine.
Add milk and yogurt; whisk until well-combined.
Add flour mixture, and whisk until just combined.
Scoop into muffin cups. The cups will be full.
Sprinkle the tops with coarse sugar, if using.
Bake for about 20-25 minutes, or until when a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
It’s a great recipe, I used full fat yogurt instead though. You can definitely taste the molasses and they are not super sweet, which I think is a good contrast for those who have overdosed on office chocolates and surgery cookies for the last month.
Bake a batch and share the love, folks!