I’ve been pretty lucky with these three. But last year, my youngest stepson forgot completely… ouch.
But many stepmoms are not very lucky and dread it. Some stepmoms see it as that awkward day barreling down on them like a freight train, weeks in advance. They bow their heads and shuffle their feet as they walk down the tracks towards it.
How many times have you walked past the greeting card aisle and glanced up at the Mother’s Day cards? Like a party, the colorful cards gather together, waiting to be plucked and placed into the hands of a loving mother. Online advertisements bombard us with pictures of t-shirts, necklaces and coffee mugs, all made with love for the Best Mom Ever. She’ll be so surprised and happy when she unwraps this thoughtful gift.
I recently asks my fellow tribe of stepmoms on Instagram what they would like for Mother’s Day. The overwhelming response? Acknowledgment.
They’ve bitten our tongues. They’ve swallowed the insults from the ex to keep the peace. They’ve rearranged their lives to accommodate shared custody of children that are not biologically their own—perhaps hoping for their own? (Perhaps never wanting to have children at all?) They’ve accepted that their partner had an entirely different life before they showed up, a life from the past that now affects their present day and future. They have tried to be a good wife, and a caring stepmom. They have stumbled through. And sometimes they wonder, “What the hell am I doing here?”
What our stepkids don’t know is that it would mean so much, and take so little, to acknowledge us on Mother’s day.
“I dream of a stepmom coffee cup.” One stepmom commented.
She has good reason to dream. It’s so simple. It would feel like a little trophy of our own.
“Acknowledgement from other moms, stepmoms, grandmothers, our partners.”
We want to feel like we exist as a stepparent and that someone recognizes our efforts.
A few women who didn’t want to comment publicly sent me private messages.
A hug. That’s all. Just a damn hug.
Stepmoms, I want to tell you: I SEE YOU and I hope you get some acknowledgement on Mother’s Day. We chose a hard gig. But we chose it for a reason. Never forget your reason.
Happy Mother’s Day from one stepmom to another!
I’m offering a Mother’s Day flash sale!! For the next 72 hours you can buy my memoir for: $20! THIS INCLUDES SHIPPING. Whaaaaat!? Check it out here: Not a Fairy Tale
On May 12th it will go back to regular price:
Canadian: $21.95 + $6 Shipping
US resident: $16.99 + $8.50 Shipping